Grief Has No Timeline - A Life Coach's Journey Through Loss

This week marks what would have been my son’s 16th birthday—my angel who left us far too soon. As I sit here reflecting on this milestone that will never be celebrated in the way I once imagined, I’m compelled to share something deeply personal that I hope will resonate with those of you walking a similar path.

The Myth of “Getting Over It”

In my practice as a life coach, I frequently hear clients express guilt about their grief timeline. They say things like “I should be over this by now” or “Why am I still struggling?” These words break my heart because they reveal a fundamental misunderstanding about how grief works.

Let me tell you something I’ve learned both personally and professionally: there is no expiration date on love, and therefore no expiration date on grief.

My Truth About Grief

I will never “get over” losing my child, and I don’t want to. He lives in my thoughts every single day, and that’s exactly where he belongs. His memory isn’t something I need to recover from—it’s something I cherish, protect, and carry forward.

But here’s what I’ve discovered through my own healing journey: grief can transform.

The guilt I once carried has lifted. The anger that consumed me has softened. I’ve learned that it’s possible to honor my son’s memory while still feeling genuine excitement about what lies ahead. This realisation didn’t happen overnight, and it certainly didn’t happen according to anyone else’s timeline.

What Healing Actually Looks Like

Healing doesn’t mean I’ve forgotten his beautiful face or that there aren’t moments when the pain of his absence takes my breath away. What it means is that the crushing weight I once carried has become more manageable. The heaviness that once made it difficult to get out of bed has transformed into something I can carry while still living fully.

I can smile authentically again. I can laugh without feeling guilty about it. I can make plans for the future without feeling like I’m betraying his memory.

Your Grief Is Valid

To anyone reading this who is grieving: your timeline is your own. Whether you lost someone yesterday or decades ago, whether you’re having a good day or a devastating one, your experience is valid.

Healing doesn’t mean forgetting. Moving forward doesn’t mean leaving them behind. It means learning to carry your love for them in a way that allows you to live fully—because that’s what they would want for you.

Permission to Grieve and Grow

I want to give you permission to:

- Grieve for as long as you need to

- Have good days without feeling guilty

- Cry when you need to cry

- Laugh when you feel like laughing

- Remember them in your own way

- Build a future that honors their memory

Your loved one’s impact on your life doesn’t diminish because you’re learning to live with their absence. In fact, the love you shared can become a source of strength as you navigate this new reality.

A Message of Hope

If you’re in the thick of grief right now, please know that transformation is possible. The pain may never fully disappear, but it can become more manageable. The weight you’re carrying can become lighter. You can learn to live with joy again while still honouring your loss.

This week, as I think about my son and the young man he would have become, I’m choosing to celebrate the love we shared rather than focus only on what was lost. I’m choosing to believe that he would want me to live fully, to help others, and to find meaning in this journey even the most difficult parts of it.

Your grief is a testament to your love. Honor it, but don’t let it keep you from living the life your loved one would want for you.